Why Ugandan women prefer rich men
Many Ugandan girls are brought up to believe that snagging a financially well off man for a husband is the height of achievement
Moses Baguma by MOSES BAGUMA
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Most Ugandan women in their prime are approached by all suitors of different attributes: aura, character, good looks, financial status, intellect and others. But because most young women in Uganda emanate from humble backgrounds and have not been nurtured to become financially independent on their own; most of them prioritise a man with the most monies.
I have nothing against a man’s financial status. A man’s financial status should be a factor of consideration because, besides the high financial demands a family comes with, poor husbands have also been found to be more violent and autocratic than richer ones. No one wishes to share a home with a violent person.
Although financial status of a man should be an important factor for a woman to consider, it shouldn’t be the only factor. When most women are approached by a suitor with money, they pay little to no attention to the rest of his attributes. Before I explain further; this is how most Ugandan women define a rich man: one who earns a six digit salary, drives a second hand Japanese car, owns a house of at least Uganda shillings 125 million or rents a very posh apartment in the most preferred outskirts of the city.
Just like majority of Ugandans in general, many young Ugandan women have emanated from very humble backgrounds: where they had to trek to and from schools during morning and evening hours respectively, go to school with very limited pocket money (sometimes with not more than 1000/=), some afforded taxis as a means of transport and very few were dropped and picked by their parents with a family car.
The ones who went to boarding schools had to put up with half-cooked posho and weevil-infested beans; no wonder they crave for chips and chicken always — they missed it dearly in childhood. Also, most of the now young women were raised in studio units and others in single room houses — with limited space. It’s now only normal and understandable that they madly crave for spacious homes.
In Uganda, most of the parents nurture their daughters to become ideal wives — not financially successful ladies. It’s always the boy child who’s reminded to work hard. Every boy child knows that they can’t be relevant if they don’t work hard. Girls are only nurtured to see marriage as the greatest achievement. They are constantly reminded to have the requisite morals for a stable marriage, not a financial genius for financial freedom. That’s why most parents press their daughters for marriage, not a well paying job, immediately after university.
Ugandan parents indeed concur with Lana Turner who noted: “A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.” It’s very unfortunate that most young women have bought into Turner’s aphorism.
Because many of our women weren’t nurtured to become financially successful ladies, and are in an economy like Uganda’s — where smooth formal employment is hard to access, they have been forced to see richer men as the only way to a secure life: where they can feast on the chicken and chips they missed in childhood, drive second hand Japanese cars (which to them are posh), live in a spacious crib, and have an admirable account balance.
Folks, it’s a life rule that the things we crave for when we are grownups are the things we were deprived of when young.
Men don’t forgive cheating, but women do
War Room. If as a married woman you haven’t watched, read or heard about this movie, then your person has not cheated on you enough.
Or has never cheated just. This has always been a song for women as an encouragement to forgive their philandering husbands especially if and when it has hit the roof.
Watch War Room, go on your knees and pray for your husband. Go on the mountains and fast for 40 days and 40 nights and dedicate the man of your house to the Lord in prayer.
Well, women easily forgive. Okay – they don’t easily do, because it is not as easy to forgive a cheating partner, but society and religion expects them to just pray and forgive. They cry their nights away and soak the pillows in tears begging God to change their persons. I don’t know, but every woman at this age and time, has made peace with the fact that his man will chew something new out there, at least once in his lifetime. Hence they don’t really get the shock when they find out. It’s just a confirmation of the fears.
But why do men find it so difficult to forgive infidelity? Yani the thought of another man right there, naked before his woman, makes them choke! The idea that the other man might be much better than him in matters sex, that she could be giving it better than she does back home, these ideas just can’t sink. The images can torture him all his life especially when he sees his woman around, say, she’s the legal wife complete with kids.
Caught his wife pants down
This conversation was triggered by some tweet about a man who had filed for divorce because he had caught his wife pants down, literally. Once tu and man went berserk! The babe had to remind him the countless times she had found him cheating but would still forgive. In two such cases, kids were born and she had even taken them in. But he would hear none of the nonsense! Like, how dare she have sex with another man, a man who is not him? Men usually regard infidelity more seriously. This, is according to one of my male friends. Infidelity affects a man’s masculinity and its the biggest offence against his manhood and identity and leaves questions about his sexual ability.
The act completely crushes his ego and lowers his self esteem as a man, he might even not be able to face his boys out there. How do you tell your boys that another man shagged your woman? When a woman cheats, apparently, it goes deeper than the physical sexual touch and when a man gets wind of this or has evidence, he gets mixed reactions. If kids are in the picture, there’s this possibility that those kids might not even be his. Women are weird humans, don’t joke! So the whole idea of a woman cheating, doesn’t sit quite well with any sane man.
See, it’s believed that women cheat for emotional reasons. Well, they are emotional beings. They cheat for attention and some, for revenge. Y’all know that when a woman decides to revenge, she engages all her gears and senses. Unlike men who might just cheat for sex and nothing more, a woman would even fall in love while at it. A man’s bruised ego can’t handle betrayal and forgiveness is the last he can think of.
Also, men are never prepared psychologically that their women might at some point cheat, or try cheating. It’s the confidence that beats me! Because why would you think that a woman you met in adulthood, would do you and you alone? That she can never look at another man and find him attractive and develop feelings for him? Come on, Jeremiah, just the way you admire other women out there, who are definitely other men’s women, yours is no exception – she is also admired!
To a man, his woman is his and no other man should touch her, much as he is busy being touchy out there. Because at least every woman is someone’s and especially if and when you have yours at home, the one you self picked and made yours. Why would you be busy laying pipe where you aren’t contracted to? No excuse is enough reason to a man for his woman to sleep with another man. There are those who forgive, have forgiven and they live happily ever after with their women. Then there those ones that regard cheating as the ultimate relationship breaker.
The day our brothers, husbands and boyfriends will make peace with the fact that their women might at some point find someone more attractive than them, forgiving infidelity will never be such a big deal. It won’t be regarded as a weakness. They will easily talk about it and forgive then wait for another cheating episode and forgive again.
QUEENS OF UNITY OFFICIALLY LAUNCHES’ THEIR ORGANIZATION IN ELDORET KENYA.
In a colourful event attended by hundreds of South Sudanese community members in Eldoret, The South Sudanese women group known as Queens of Unity, on 24/10/2022 officially launched their community-based organization, self-help group.
Several community leaders and representatives from all over Kenya, Uganda, South Sudan, Australia, Canada, and the USA converged to witness the launching of their organization with many people advising them to work for the unity of the people of South Sudan, as mothers & women have a central role to play in the pacification of conflict or ethnic divide, that is currently ravishing South Sudan.
At the event, the organizational official logo and emblems were also officially availed.
The document seen and obtained by The juba mirror read that for the organization’s logo, Inspirations was centred on capturing the central themes of strength elegance royalty, and beauty associated with the noun Queen as well as how this organization’s members embody themselves in their community development as unity queens, and community rebuilding agents that will advocate for the upholding of the good values our South Sudan Culture have to offer.
Further, the organization founding members stated they intend to be peace and unity anchors in the community in Eldoret beyond South Sudan as organizational members’ ethos preaches the gentle and peaceful embrace of all members of our community, a central reference the group members wanted to pass was their logos symbolic message that can be seen in the middle of the dove wings which is a blossoming bloom of flower with hearts emitting from it, as they intend to be the points where love unity and prosperity grow and emits from as it extends to the wider South Sudanese communities.
Nature of the organization
The organization is a non-governmental women’s self-help group that functions as a community-based organization in the jurisdiction its official branches will be operated at.
At the launch, it was also stated that the main objectives are to form a united body of South Sudanese women to assist and support each other to thrive wherever possible and identify enhance and employ the various skills knowledge, and connections this group members have gained to be positive community builders who encourage productive practice and dissemination of peaceful coexistence in the communities.
The group also will promote and advance the education, information, and general empowerment of these group members to enable their understanding practice, and appreciation of the diverse South Sudanese cultures arts, and customs, and the roles that enterprise and peace play in development.
Queens of unity distinguishes itself from other women’s groups in the area as the most diverse and well-organized South Sudanese women’s self-help groupings in Kenya and wishes to be the model South Sudanese women’s self-help group in the coming year that will have at its core the enhancement, practice observation and maintenance of positive South Sudanese cultural values & enable members showcasing of these in all relevant local and international spaces.
Pic of Promoter K2 being interrogated by police over alleged trafficked babies emerges online
A pic of Koryom Awet being interrogated by Ugandan police has emerged online even after he publicly denied that he was arrested or questioned by Ugandan police over child trafficking saga.
Yesterday, Koryom popularly know to many as K2 took to his page to dispute media reports that he was arrested over alleged human trafficking by his sister and businesswoman Achai Wiir.
“Please disregard these allegations from idle-minded people. To me, their stories don’t deduct and add any value to my life. Please keep indirectly adding ladders to my success. To those who consume your fabricated stories with excitement, it’s also healthy. It’s keeping most of us busy sharing, commenting and talking. Time consuming under this Juba heat,” K2 post reads.
Uganda’s Newspaper Daily Vision has also released images of allegedly trafficked babies from South Sudan to Uganda. The police has placed the eight children at children’s home in Kampala, Uganda.
In the pics, attached below, the babies include babies who can’t even sit upright, leaving many people to question Achai Wiir’s intention of taking such small babies to Uganda away from their moms.
This week, Uganda’s Newspaper reported that Ugandan police have asked their Juba’s counterpart to arrest Achai Wiir over alleged human trafficking involving babies as young as 12 months.
Our efforts to reach both Achai Wiir and K2 for comment were futile.
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