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Why afterplay is as important as foreplay for couples



Why afterplay is as important as foreplay for couples. Photo | Photosearch
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By Joachim Osur


What you need to know:  We are all familiar with foreplay. But what about post-coital play?

The core to great sex is feeling emotionally and physically attached to your partner. Foreplay is a known first step into coitus. It is the preparatory stage and comprises psychological, emotional, and physical preparedness before penetration. But what happens when the act has ended?

That’s when the after-play happens. That’s the immediate moment when one or both of the intimate couple have reached their end.

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But what do you do after the event? Chances are it’s a quick cuddle, maybe a kiss, and then lights out. Or it’s straight to slumber.

But according to study only a fifth of women reach orgasm during sex all the time, meaning that 80 per cent are going without.

This is why it’s good to know that orgasm is not the sole key to great sex.

If you think of sex as a long-distance race, then foreplay is your warm-up, the race itself is your sex session, and after-play is your cool-down.

That’s the point of discussion in the women’s Chama meeting.

“He climaxes before me and leaves me hanging, pushes me away, and goes into a deep sleep,” the Chairperson lamented, “I am left staring at the roof as he snores like a lion!”

“Mine warns me that I should not disturb him when I try to cuddle or talk because he is tired,” another member chips in.

“They are very friendly and loving before the act,” said the vice-chairperson, “but you become enemies immediately he is done.”

To have healthy and satisfactory sex, it is important to understand the stages one goes through during the sex process. This helps in understanding the behaviour of your partner from the beginning to the end of the process and gives you peace of mind rather than anxiety and frustration which are common in most sexual encounters.

Many people are aware of foreplay. It is the time that your partner is most interested in you and in the act unless they have a sexual problem in which case they can be anxious and sometimes scared, fearing that they may fail. Many couples talk seductively to each other at this time and use all their five senses for arousal.

“Yes, it is something we enjoy as women; the kisses, curdles, massages….” said a member, “not to mention being treated like a queen.”

Successful foreplay is marked by an enhancing mood, psychological peace, and lubrication all of which are important in the next stage of coitus.

“Yes, and we wish our men could make it longer,” said the chairperson.

The second stage of sex is marked by penetration. Also called the plateau stage, it is what men enjoy the most. The excitement is high and maintained.

The second stage ends in the third one which is orgasm which is the peak of excitement. Sometimes the lady may get an orgasm before the man. Sometimes the couple climaxes together. The unique thing with women at this stage is that they can get multiple orgasms in one cycle. A man however gets only one orgasm and moves to the fourth stage.

In the fourth stage, a man loses his erection. He is naturally unable to continue having penetrative sex. Depending on their ages, men need as few as 30 minutes in their teenage years to as long as 24 hours in their elderly ages to recover before initiating another cycle.

“So what do you expect a woman who has been left hanging to be doing during this time of a man’s paralysis?” a member asked to which everyone burst out laughing.

“Yes, tell us, do you want some of us whose husbands are aging to keep waiting for 24 hours before the act can continue?” another member asked emotionally.

They are right. After-play can help with the cooling down after the act, make sex more enjoyable, build a stronger bond, forge a healthy relationship and lead to more sex.


This brought me to the issue of the day, why do men switch off after the act?

Two key components: fatigue and lack of understanding. James Halpern and Mark A. Sherman wrote “Afterplay: The Key to Intimacy” in 1979 where they looked at 264 men and women. The majority fell asleep within an hour of having sex and the rest were unsatisfied with their after-play experiences.

The good thing is that when they wake up they may be in the foreplay mood again so not everything is lost.

“True but if he finishes before me he should be loving enough to know that I also need an orgasm!” a member noted.

Yes, more fondling and more intercourse is always an option but it doesn’t have to be. The moments after sex are moments of vulnerability. Post-coital depression is when a partner feels empty or unhappy after intercourse. Afterplay is important in situations like this as it can reassure the partner through touch and intimacy.


If the couple understands how the body works, the bedroom wars will be less. It is wrong for the man to be hostile after coitus but the woman needs to also understand that he is in natural sexual paralysis.


The couple should agree that once the recovery is over, the process should restart. In other words, the after play needs to be as loving as the foreplay and there should be no pressure to head to penetration.


Also do note that the making love phases do not always flow from the first to the last. In fact, it can start and end with foreplay. Couples need to enjoy each bit of their romantic encounter without dictating when and what the end ought to be. If this becomes the attitude, there will be no winners and losers in the bedroom because sex, then, does not have to be a contest for achieving anything other than pleasure.

Via Saturday_Magazine

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Supermodel Amelia Sky dies in Juba



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South Sudan’s beloved model Amelia Aboud Michael Sky, winner of several international awards died in Juba on Monday, family have confirmed.

Her elder sister Ebony Aboud said the catwalk supermodel commonly known as Amelia Sky passed away due to Anemia and throat infection, immediately after his arrival from Yambio.

“She took a boda-boda to bring her to Juba because there was no bus coming to Juba due to security issues. She took three days to reached Juba, and in a process, she got sick because of heavy rains and dust,” said Ebony.

“She died in Juba while being taken to the hospital,” she added.

The beauty queen reportedly traveled to Yambio four months ago after her father died.

According to Ebony, her sister went home to pay respect and build the tomb of their father who had died in her absence.

A kindergarten teacher, who studied business and accounting at the American School of South Sudan in Juba, Amelia has also represented South Sudan at international modelling competitions, where she won awards.

She contested for South Sudan at World Miss University 2017 in Phnom Penh, Cambodia and also competed at Top Model of the World in El Gouna Egypt in July 2017, where she finished among the Top 10.

Again in March last year, she represented her country at the Top Model of the World 2020 in Hurghada, Egypt but she was unplaced.

On August last year, she represented South Sudan at Miss Supranational 2021 in Nowy Sącz, Małopolska, Poland and was named the Top Model of Africa.

On April 2, 2022, she represented South Sudan at Miss Environment International 2022 in Mumbai, India. She was second runner-up to Kayra Wouters of Belgium and was crowned Miss Biodiversity 2022.

Her sister, Ebony said Amelia hastily left Yambio for Juba because she was supposed to travel to Germany for her modelling career.

“She has always been a pillar of our household, and the family depended on her for everything,” said her emotional sister.

“She was very strong, kind and everyone love her specially when she travels abroad to represent South Sudan.”

Via  Eyeradio

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Watchdog ‘disappointed’ as Eastern Equatoria postpones graduation of peace forces for third time



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In a statement to Sudans Post on Tuesday, Edmund Yakani, the Executive Director of Community Empowerment for Progress Organization (CEPO), said his organization is disappointed over the continued postponement of graduation of peace forces in Eastern Equatoria warning the delay is frustrating soldiers.

A South Sudan civil society watchdog has expressed disappointment after the government of Eastern Equatoria State said the graduation of the unified forces has again been pushed to at least 16 September, 2022.

On September 13, Eastern Equatoria State information minister Patrick Oting Cyprian said the delay is due to logistical issues and registration of the forces and that authorities were still analyzing before they come up with the final list of those who will be graduated.

“Because of the logistical issues and the registration of these forces, they are still analyzing and they are still crosschecking the original names that they have in that list because they were people at the training center ready for graduation who did the training and finished but now we have other forces who are coming in who were not even at the training center and they needed to be graduated,” Oting told Radio Tamazuj said.



In a statement to Sudans Post on Tuesday, Edmund Yakani, the Executive Director of Community Empowerment for Progress Organization (CEPO), said his organization is disappointed over the continued postponement of graduation of peace forces in Eastern Equatoria warning the delay is frustrating soldiers.

“CEPO is expressing disappointment over the continuation postponement of the graduation for the unified forces in Eastern Equatoria state for third times. These continuous postponements discouraging gained momentum and posing indicators of possibility of frustrating the soldiers and likelihood of abandoning them like in the past,” Yakani said.

“The leadership of the unified command and the JDB and JTSC should act on the issue of supporting the graduation of the unified forces in Eastern Equatoria sate immediately,” he added.

The activist further called on the presidency to support the government of Eastern Equatoria state in ensuring the timely graduation of the unified forces to provide security for the people of Eastern Equatoria state and of course the country.

“The presidency should urgently support the government of Eastern Equatoria state with the necessary support for graduating the unified forces urgently since redeployment is essential step of transitional security arrangements,” Yakani said.

“Redeployment of the graduated unified forces is a key factor of motivation for enrollment of new branch of the face two of forces for training, graduation and redeployment. Consistency in the actions of training, graduating and redeploying of the require faces of the unified forces is an essential demonstration of renewal of political pledge and commitment for transitioning the situation from Violence to peace though genuine R-ARCSS implementation,” he stressed.

The statement concluded by “urging the leadership in Juba to ensure that quick graduation of unified forces in the states are delivered immediately without any delayed so we open window for enrollment of phase two of the unification of forces.”


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Gen. Gatwech’s press secretary Kalany Mamuon resigns



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South Sudan main armed opposition official, James Kalany Mamuon, who is also the press secretary for controversial former SPLA-IO chief of staff Gen. Simon Gatwech Dual has resigned, according to a statement issued this evening.

Kalany was appointed last year following the split of the SPLM/SPLA (IO) which was brought about by an attempt by Gen. Gatwech Dual and other senior SPLA-IO commanders to remove First Vice President Dr. Riek Machar Teny as chairman and commander in chief of the SPLM/SPLA (IO).

The split, which took place in August last, resulted in a continued internal fighting between opposition soldiers who support either sides of the main armed opposition group which is also a key signatory to the revitalized peace agreement signed by First Vice President Machar and President Salva Kiir Mayardit.

In a statement this evening, Mamuon said he had initially decided to join the opposition faction to support them in their quest for peace and integration into South Sudan People’s Defense Forces (SSPDF) under the command of President Salva Kiir Mayardit.

“This is to inform my friends, colleagues and the general public that I have resigned as the Press Secretary of Gen. Simon Gatwech Dual, the leader of SPLM-IO Kitgwang,” Mamuon said in the statement, a copy of which was seen by Sudans Post on Wednesday night.

“After the Generals deposed the leadership of SPLM-IO, I decided to support the ‘Principle of Kitgwang declaration’ the military wing of our former Movement and help to guide them toward Peace. Now that the peace is signed, I have decided to contribute towards our nation-building through a different platform since I am not a soldier but a civilian,” Mamuon added.

The senior opposition official further said he “wishes to thank all the members of SPLM-(IO) KITGWANG for their full support and cooperation. You have been great Comrades and I look forward to working with all of you in the future as we embark on nation-building.”

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